


meet the howells

by toffeelemon



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Phandom Fic Fests: Pride, Pride, Real Life, is this what they call introspection
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-14 21:46:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19281811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toffeelemon/pseuds/toffeelemon
Summary: After a decade of going home alone, Dan finally brings Phil along to see his family. As his boyfriend.(set after the awkward email, before the video)





	meet the howells

**Author's Note:**

> i feel super weird writing non-au in a post daniel howell coming out universe because everyone is yelling on the internet  
> but this is one story too important to not write, about families and coming out (see more notes lol)
> 
> i know flash fic is supposed to be 500words ish but my feelings spilled lol
> 
> i am so so proud of dan (and phil!) and i truly truly hope dan is happy now and his relationships with the people in his past will heal !! happy pride month and never forget that there is something better over the rainbow when you get there, always have hope in your heart xx

It’s not that him and Phil are codependent. (Okay, maybe they are, Dan isn’t even too ashamed to admit that sometimes.) They _can_ survive spending time away from each other - when Phil used to go to Florida without Dan, or when Dan is too sad to leave his bed but obviously not going to stop Phil from living his life. Plus, it’s always funny to hear how socially inept Phil is when he is outside by himself.

But nothing really sucks as much as when Dan has to go home by himself, back to the cursed town full of people and memories that he’d rather forget.

He doesn’t hate his family that much now, not really, after years of finally grappling with adulthood, a whole lot of healing and trying healthy communication; but there’s still no explicable excuse to bring Phil along back home, and especially not for Easter mass or his mum’s birthday. Dan’s relationship with his family is only salvageable by how much he keeps to himself, a less passive aggressive extension to how his teenage years have gone, to be honest.

Although the girlfriend pesters stopped since like two years ago, there was never any dreaded _gay_ suspicion, despite what Dan’s anxiety might tell him at 4am. Dan doubts that they even think too much of Phil at all - his parents don’t know or care about his career enough, hardly know how much time he spends with Phil beyond the fact that they work together sometimes and share an address. It’s partly Dan keeping to himself, but also, when you really work hard at ignoring something (read: Dan’s flaming homosexuality and subsequent existential depression), it could be so easy to religiously believe in their blind hope of Dan being totally fine, totally heterosexual, totally _normal_. Dan has kept his life to himself since day one, to the point where lying just comes naturally to him now, the bitter cringing hardly noticeable at the back of his throat. Dan tells his mum next to nothing anyways - his sexuality and _Phil_ was just an addition to the list.

Dan actually didn’t tell his mum that he left uni until one whole year later, on the phone when he had something better to distract her with, to prove that he is not that much of a failure. The news was left vague and whimsical to keep her positive, because there is really no good way to explain _I’m going to be on BBC radio now because the love of my life is so great and wonderful and wouldn’t let me drown in my degenerate life as a dropout like the disappointment I am_. Impressively, his family didn’t even really get to know of Phil’s existence until they heard their radio show, finally something that Dan could be proud of.

Obviously, over the years his mum met Phil once or twice, every time they moved into some place new or at their shows. Dan’s family liked Phil well enough, but ultimately didn’t think much about the coworker in the background of Dan’s career that no one really understood or cared about -  which sucks, because Phil is pretty great and everyone should bloody care. Phil is the first good thing in his life and honestly, Dan is pretty offended that his family wouldn’t care to know, behind all the hurt in the closet and knowing deep down that he isn’t ready to tell yet. But Dan doesn’t hate having Phil as a secret of his own all that much - maybe something so good and pure should be kept close to his heart and away from all the darkness of his home life.

It is ridiculously ironic and bitterly funny that Dan is out to Phil’s family but not his own, just another testament to how everything related to Phil is good and lovely by extension. He wouldn’t go as far as to say that Phil’s mum feels like his own, but Kath adores him and Dan can claim that with pride. The Lesters have known him as Phil’s plus one at family events for years now, and finally, Dan even gets to join the sacred Lester tradition to Florida, which Dan disguised as an extension to his annual American business trip when his mother was curious enough to ask. Half of the time his family doesn’t even know where in the world is he - Dan might have laughed satirically about it to Phil once or twice, how he doesn’t care enough to lie to Twitter about how he’s vacationing with the Lesters anymore and yet, his family can’t take a damn hint. Dan doesn’t quite know how to process that sometimes he feels closer to his live show audience than his own family.

They’re going down the weekend before Dan’s birthday, because Dan’s nan baked a cake (which is good enough reason to go back home, to be honest) and everyone’s “excited to see” him. Dan doesn’t want to overthink it, but he is quite sure that it has something to do with him disastrously coming out via email (the responses aren’t all that disastrous, actually, but coming out via email is really a bit stereotypically millennial and disappointing).  

This will be the first time Dan would see his family face to face post - coming out, and whilst it might not be the best decision he’s ever made, Dan doesn’t think he can survive another visit home alone, so he drags Phil to hell with him as usual. When Dan had shakily asked over the phone can he bring his _boyfriend,_ his mum gingerly approved, eager to show her support and hopefully lift some of the self-induced guilt about failed parenting. They have no idea it’s Phil - his mum was too nervous to ask about the man in question, and Dan was too nervous to tell, because two weeks in between telling everyone he’s gay and introducing his boyfriend to his entire extended family is hardly appropriate but Dan needs this, someone by his side so it will not be so dreadful and terrifying. It might be the most dreadful and terrifying trip home in Dan’s entire life. Phil is nervous too, babbling nonsense in his telltale way the entire train ride to Reading, but he keeps it together for Dan, because he knows how important it is for Dan and they’ve always been good for each other for everything, especially when it comes to being brave for each other. They don’t hold hands on the first class carriage but Phil’s knee pressing against Dan’s is a good enough teeter to reality.

It’s proven to be worth the risk, Dan almost bursting into highly inappropriate hysterical laughter at his mum’s face when she spots Phil getting out of the cab on their doorstep. She stammers, but tries her hardest to lean in for their signature awkward mother and son hug anyways, when Dan steps up to the door first. Dan doesn’t know does he want to bolt or chuckle hysterically, but Phil’s already caught up, hand slipping into his from behind easily and reassuringly. Dan already likes this so much better - it’s so much nicer to not be alone. His mum is still being awkward, pointedly ignoring the insinuation that him and Phil had been together for almost a decade now, but Phil is being his usual charming self so the tension hasn’t quite suffocated Dan yet - it’s all fine. They will be fine.

Dan’s nan is gnawing on her lip with the little teeth she has left in the corner of the living room, extremely unsettled and nervous to meet Dan’s alleged new boyfriend. Dan doesn’t know what nightmare scenarios her silly Christian imagination is supplying her, but it definitely wasn’t the familiar Phil popping into the living room with a timid but friendly smile, hands fidgeting by his sides. Her jaw drops, and Dan really hopes it is a good surprise.

“Philip!” she exclaims, relieved recognition replacing her confused frown, and soon enough she is clutching both of Phil’s hands in hers earnestly, the two of them already settling into hushed banter in between loud cackles, Phil turning to wink at Dan badly when she doesn’t notice. It's almost like they've been doing this forever. Dan lets out a breath of relief that he doesn’t even notice he has been holding in for years. His nan watches his videos occasionally and already knows Phil - she loves Phil. Dan can’t believe he ever doubted otherwise. Perhaps she will come to understand why Dan loves him so much too.

It wasn’t without hiccups, but as _meeting the family two weeks after coming out_ goes, it went fine. Everyone in his family knows now, and the world didn’t end. And in a few days’ time, everyone in the world would know too. Dan hates it when Phil is right, but deep down, he knows that the world probably wouldn’t end either when the time comes.

And damn does it feel good to finally have Phil holding his hand wherever he goes, to his personal hell and back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> i see so many people being genuinely shocked that dan hasn't came out to his family until recently but let me tell you. if your family wants to be blind to it, they can be, no matter how obvious it is. i personally (a cis girl) have never spoken about a boy once in the entirety of the past twenty years, am very suspicious about not specifying female friends, and yet my mum didn't "see it coming" re my lesbianism. i was IN the london pride parade - and yet my dad didn't even question me leaving the house in rainbows and glitter "going to work". you have no idea how weird it is to be so out and closeted at the same time. you can be so far away from someone despite living under the same roof - my family doesn't know my hobbies, the names of my friends, or even which continent i'm on half of the time, let alone my sexuality. it is incredibly lonely and i am so happy that dan is out of that now (resumes sobbing)


End file.
